I hope that phone call still plays in your head

I've stopped crying over you like I used to, now I just remember my mistakes and make an effort to change into a person that won't make that mistake with anyone else. I no longer wonder if you'll come back because it gets me nowhere. I used to be so confrontational and insensitive when I talked about a lot of topics, now I take others into consideration and have stopped letting my beliefs define me as a person, which has subsequently changed my values.  I used to play video games for an escape from everyone, even you, in my life because I was stressed, now I go out and hang out with friends or run, and that makes me happy. I feel much better now about all of this than I used to, and I'm glad that I'm getting past this. I only have one contention to my happiness:

I walk around every day painfully aware of all of the emotional turmoil that I caused you, and you get to take every stride in blissful ignorance of how you made me feel. I don't know how long you faked your feelings for me in the end, and that thought is harrowing.